Had it up to the neck or so

The saddest thing about this is, I'm not even surprised. What I'm feeling right now isn't the sharp sting of sudden betrayal. I can't burst into a torrent of tears and then get over it, you know?

Because it's more like a dull, soggy ache. Like I was expecting it all along and hoping for better was a bit pointless after all, which is disappointing, yes, but not a shock to my system by any means.

It's exhausting.