Ramble me this way

It's been far, far too long

Since I indulged myself with a poetic rant

Not that this is poetry

Not really

But saying things in lines

Breaking up the thoughts I have into lines

Using space and playing with position

Makes everything seem a little more creative somehow

Not that this is creative

Not really

I want to Make.

I want to Grow.

I want to Be.

Have I once again forgotten how?

They said it was a journey

Not a race, not a prize, not a destination

But I did forget that, I think. 

I thought I had...well. Arrived

At the finish line

Time to remind myself that there isn't one, and it's not my fault

I don't have to hate myself or judge myself for not getting to something that doesn't exist

There are ups and downs, good days and bad days, smiles and sorrows and slipping backwards before striding forward again

I haven't lost, and I'm not finished, and I push, and push, and push, and push, and push (am I through the hard part yet? the answer is always no)

It's just hard, lately. To remember...why. To keep grasping for sunlight and close my weakening fingers around empty, dead air.