It's been far, far too long
Since I indulged myself with a poetic rant
Not that this is poetry
Not really
But saying things in lines
Breaking up the thoughts I have into lines
Using space and playing with position
Makes everything seem a little more creative somehow
Not that this is creative
Not really
I want to Make.
I want to Grow.
I want to Be.
Have I once again forgotten how?
They said it was a journey
Not a race, not a prize, not a destination
But I did forget that, I think.
I thought I had...well. Arrived
At the finish line
Time to remind myself that there isn't one, and it's not my fault
I don't have to hate myself or judge myself for not getting to something that doesn't exist
There are ups and downs, good days and bad days, smiles and sorrows and slipping backwards before striding forward again
I haven't lost, and I'm not finished, and I push, and push, and push, and push, and push (am I through the hard part yet? the answer is always no)
It's just hard, lately. To remember...why. To keep grasping for sunlight and close my weakening fingers around empty, dead air.
