Today sucks.

oddly enough, it turns out that my largest current problem stems from my being a terrible person. surprise.

i'm profoundly lonely.

because i don't want to see/talk to/be around/even be in the same 50 foot radius as my friend's friend. who happens to be my brother's ex, so there's that as a possible excuse? maybe? but it's still me refusing to make something work.

because i have difficulty hanging out with people who are attached to other people at the hip or lips or what have they. whatever they have that can be attached. they usually are. and i resent people who are happy together.

because i feel left behind and irrelevant and pointless in my family's lives, so i avoid them by staying in my room to watch tv. then i get irritated when they forget about me or assume i don't want to do something.

because i'm constantly angry. or sad. or apathetic. i really don't blame anyone who isn't trying to be my friend.

i blame myself, as i should.

i just feel so very alone.

I'm horrid.

Just spent about 15 minutes on Facebook.

Remembered why I never ever get on.

I don't care about what any of my *friends* are doing. People are pretty boring, generally.

That's awful. I don't enjoy being reminded that I'm an awful person.

So I avoid Facebook as a rule.