How dare I neglect this? I feel better after writing, just about always. But not when writing absolutely crap papers for class. Ugh ugh ugh. Yesterday was awful. Then it was over and I did nothing today. Today was marvelous.
I want to write...something.
But I have no inspiration today.
I haven't for a couple of days. Wrote myself into a bit of a corner, I'm afraid. Now I need to have an actual plot, and nothing is springing to mind.
Sucks.
Well, I did have a bit of a panic/depression/cry this afternoon. It just hits me every so often that my days are slipping away from me, even the important ones. That was the panic. That the things that mean the most to me are only temporary was the depression. My attempt to deal with these facts was the cry.
I was praying, thanking God for what I've had so far, asking him to fix what's I've wrecked already, and tossing the future at him hoping he'd lob back some sort of instruction manual. Nothing on that front, not yet. But I did get some peace.
I always cry on/before my birthday. Was expecting it, so I'm not really upset by it.
21 tomorrow. Exciting. Terrifying. Liberating? I guess so (pondered the feasibility of purchasing alcohol to christen something without drinking it). However I look at it, it's a new year. That's not a bad thing.
Oh, Love. Happy Birthday. (Turns out I couldn't wait.)
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing every year.
I am so sorry all the stuff is happening now. This year will be amazing, though. It has to be. It will be.