Sleep deprived

Do posts after midnight last night count for today? I'm so tired.
More tomorrow.

Gold and Blue

Gold

A neatly pressed dress uniform, complete with extra braid wrapped around the sleeves and a shining, colorful insignia, hung next to five clean, extra, standard command shirts. Two more of the latter lay shredded in a pile by the mirror, sprinkled and stained with different hues of dust and crystal shards. The last was framed, attached to the wall by the bed. A single rip ran its horizontal length, directly across the chest.

Warm light

Gently waving fields of golden grain hid a sleeping boy from view. The sun's heat trickled through scattering clouds, kissing freckles across his nose and brushing highlights into his yellow hair. He sighed softly, curling into himself, a tawny kitten in a patch of sun.

Sun

Its brightness nearly blinded him, his ship and crew careening crazily, ever closer to its fiery depths. Holding out for the perfect moment, a quick command, and his words would save them all. The power of the universe, it seemed, housed in brilliant heat. Steady were his hands, firm were his words, as the sweat poured from his friends and his own home began to crack. Now, he said, and orders were obeyed, switches thrown, equations put to work, engines run at maximum to pull them around the livid star and shoot them into the past.

Stars

From so far below, they were small, only pinpricks of chilly light. Two faces peered up, looking for a constellation one insisted would be visible. The other humored him, relishing the quiet moment, a luxury. A yawn, a quiet laugh, the murmur of everything important and nothing of significance passed between them where they stood in the moonlight, beneath a sparkling sky.

Moon

From behind his console he saw it, rising whitely in the viewscreen, its pocked, gray surface hiding the stars. Silence on the ship. Not a breath, not a word, not a clatter of booted footsteps reached his sensitive ears. They waited together, waited for their enemy, tucked beneath a chalky lump of space debris. From above, the glare of an energy beam, below it burned and blackened the surface of their rocky refuge. He signaled his captain, the ship's engines roared to life, and they vaulted from the pale dust to give chase.

Deep night

Hot air drifted over towering rocks, drained of color by the empty moonlight. A boy swung his feet from the edge of a precipice, one hand buried in thick sehlat fur, the other propping his head up on his knee. His dark eyes flicked idly over the darkened dunes, slowly sliding shut as warm winds teased hair darker than the evening sky.

Blue

In a spotless room, the closet door stood open, revealing three standard science uniform shirts and one dress uniform, its faintly iridescent sheen visible in the gentle light. By the bed, its blankets pulled taut and wrinkle-free, sat a small table, and folded atop it lay a purple sash. 

Depressing evening with a pillow

I suppose I am supremely privileged. I get this internet access without any additional cost to myself. I mooch off my brothers who are better off financially than I probably will ever be. I start a lot of sentences with the word "I" and can post them on a blog with the internet they give me freely.
Wireless Network Connection 5 is now connected. Or so the box in the bottom right of my screen informs me. The signal strength is low.
I am melancholy about my dependence on younger siblings to provide for me. My pillow is stained with leftover mascara, moistened with tears and a bit of snot. They think I'll never amount to anything. I'm the one who should have graduated and been in med school by now. They used to think I had so much promise. They used to look up to me. I'm more of a joke, now. A cautionary tale for lazy younger ones. She's not the role model I want, says a sister. I'm not going to make her mistakes. More tears. The mascara is already gone.
I really have nothing of value to offer the world. I've given nothing that might make me worthy of keeping around. I have no plans to do anything that will earn me distinction, or at least meager purpose. I've failed. A sniffle. The penguin pillowcase (am I still such a child?) is too dirty to sleep on.
They named their network "twins," and the signal strength is low. I know it's theirs. I know they're paying for it. Thanks for that reminder, little bros. You're awesome. I'm contribute nothing. Eat a pillow to muffle a sob.
Waste of space, money, attention, time. Of air. Fat, lazy, stupid, irresponsible, unreliable, unlikable, unfriendly, unwanted. Can't forget self-absorbed. A stinging smack to own cheek. Deserved that.
Worrying about myself is wrong. I should care about everyone else. My problems aren't big. Not worth crying over. Accept that I've failed. Keep moving anyway. Keep getting out of bed.
The alternative . . . isn't.

Do colors connect?

gold

warm light

sun

stars

moon

deep night

blue